22. The Chicago Bears

The eventual Super Bowl Champions were not the first to break the hymen of sports crossing over into music.  Numerous sports icons such as Babe Ruth and Terry Bradshaw have ventured into recordings in the past, but they all one main intangible in common; they all sucked.      The Bears were however the first to suck in the mainstream video age enabling them to be the first group of athletes to stink up both the ears and eyes.  The Super Bowl Shuffle was just as it sounds, as the Chicago Bears “rapped” about how they would beat their opponents.  As talented as they were on the field (many an argument has been made calling the 85’ Bears were the best team ever), they were the 2009 Detroit Lions in the recording studio.  Only two things were worse than there abysmal rapping; first was the was the insipid freestyle attempted beat from a $99 Casio, and the second was the “high tech” music video featuring the Bears “dancing” in unison as they bled eardrums.  If you ever want proof that not all black men have rhythm, YouTube that video to see what we mean.  We blame this video for making other athletes think they could do the same.  The Los Angeles Dodgers, Shaquille O’Neal, Allen Iverson, Jack McDowell, Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards and Tony Parker in a French rap album are all bargain bin rejects thanks to the Bears.  A good rule of thumb, is if you are a million dollar athlete, just don’t produce music as it WON`T be any good.  Luckily for their leader, “The punky QB they call (Jim) McMahon” his post concussion symptoms may have allowed him to forget it ever happened.