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Axl and the Axmen

Another high school garage band going nowhere, Axl and the Axmen’s claim to fame is superimposing their hot teacher into a music video for their basic three chord (was it even three?) song. Personally, we thought Axl’s Boss Co. was better but until we have a Fictitious Company Hall of Fame…. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The Middle (2009-) Actors:Charlie McDermott (Axl Heck, Lead Singer and Guitar)Beau Wirick (Sean Donahue, Guitar)John Gammon (Darrin McGrew, Drums) Songs you might remember:Run to Me Why you should vote for them:This is an underrated show. Why you should not vote for them:While it…

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Axl Bundy

We never heard Axl Bundy play, nor did we care. We loved watching Al Bundy hobnob at the airport lounge with 60’s singing legends (John Sebastian, Ritchie Havens, Spencer Davis, Robby Kriger, Peter Nooner and Mark Lindsay). Does this make him a FRRHOF inductee? Probably not, but it was a fun watch! The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Married with Children (1992) Actors: Ed O’Neill Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: Al Bundy is a god for many. Why you should not vote for him: Axl did not sing in the episode, nor do we…

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Bad Billy and the Bail Jumpers

In what was one of the few Steven Seagal movies that didn’t suck; the antagonist was the great actor Tommy Lee Jones. We actually like that, as we knew that we would be treated to at least some good acting, but trying to view the curmudgeonly Jones (who must have came out of the womb looking like a cranky old dude) masquerading as a Rock and Roller is not exactly believable. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Under Siege (1992) Actor: Tommy Lee Jones (William “Bill” Strannix) Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for them: The Tommy Lee…

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Baldwin and the Wiffles

The squeaky clean 50’s crooners of John Waters’ “Cry-Baby”, Baldwin and the Whiffles sang the original songs of the rock era; though only the ones without any real attitude. Of course, if they did that would have refuted the point wouldn’t it?

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Banjo and Sullivan

A novelty 70’s Country music duo, Adam Banjo and Roy Sullivan did not make it through the end of Rob Zombie’s 2005, The Devils Rejects. They may have met their demise on screen (it was a horror movie, so you knew their chances weren’t good) but Rob Zombie did have an actual Greatest Hits of the fictitious pair released. That gives them a huge advantage in our eyes. The Bullet Points: Movies Appeared: The Devils Rejects (2005) Actors: Lew Temple (Adam Banjo) Geoffrey Lewis (Roy Sullivan) Songs you might remember: I’m at Home Getting Hammered (While She’s Out Getting Nailed)…

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Barbara Jean

She may not have always been the focal point of the large ensemble cast in Robert Altman’s “Nashville” but Barbara Jean was presented as the budding singing star of the Country Music capital. Played by Ronee Blakely in what was the role of her life, Barbara Jean was emotionally fragile and super talented; a common elixir for the young stars of any musical genre. Blakely was nominated for an Academy Award (Supporting Actress) for this role. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Nashville (1975) Actors: Ronee Blakely Songs you might remember: Dues Tapedeck inhis Tractor My Idaho Home Why you should…

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Barry Jive and the Uptown Five

As one half of the “musical moron twins”, Barry (Jack Black) took musical elitism to a new level. He worked at Championship Vinyl, and if you were to try to purchase the wrong record in his presence, you best beware! Barry finally gets his band going when finally someone answers his flyer in the store and is slated to open for the Kinky Wizards at an event run by his boss (John Cusack). It appeared that we would never see Black’s band play as despite the efforts of Cusack to stop it. Initially billed as the Sonic Death Monkey, though…

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Bart Simpson

In the seemingly never ending animated show, The Simpsons, some people may have forgotten that the character of Bart Simpson actually had two top 100 hits in the United States. “Do the Bartman” from the album, “The Simpsons Sing the Blues” actually reached #11 in 1990. On the show, Bart showed proficiency with the drums, was in a boy band, but also had a hit in Springfield with “I Didn’t Do It” when he was a featured player on the Krusty the Clown show. With success in the real world and the fake world, does this not make Bart Simpson…

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Beef

Part Bowie, part transvestite and part diva, the character of Beef was in the wrong place at the wrong time as evidenced by his death by neon lightning bolt on stage. Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad way to go. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Phantom of the Paradise (1974) Actors: Gerrit Graham Raymond Louis Kennedy (Singing Voice) Songs you might remember: Life at Last Why you should vote for him: Chances are the laughs you had during the film was because of Beef. Why you should not vote for him: He is low on the list in a…

Beef

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Big Fun

We never saw Big Fun in the 1989 dark comedy, Heathers, but we heard them and learned of their major hit, “Teenage Suicide, (Don’t Do It)”, which was exactly the opposite of the staged suicides that Christian Slater orchestrated at Westerburg High. That song was referenced more in that film than half of the other “hits” on this ballot. Also bonus points for the Replacements lead singer having a High School named after him. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Heathers (1989) Actor: Sung by Don Dixon Songs you might remember: Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It) Why you should vote for…

Big Fun

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Big Time Rush

We admit to being befuddled by this one. The first time kids saw Big Time Rush was on television of the show of the same name. The premise is where four Minnesota Hockey players wind up in a Boy Band (we don’t know why either) and we assume stopped playing hockey. Anyway, the boy band becomes successful in the real world and they have released multiple albums and sold out arenas. Now they used their real first names, but changes their last name on the show, and they have a created origin (Do you believe any of them play hockey?)…

Big Time Rush

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Billie Frank

Mariah Carey does not have a lot of misses but when she does (like throwing an opening pitch at a Japanese League Baseball Game) it is majestic! Such was Glitter, where Carey played Billie Frank, an aspiring singing star in the early 80’s. Does she make it? Do you care? Bottom line is that the film was a miss on every level and Mariah Carey is trying to forget it ever happened. So are we. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Glitter (2001) Actor: Mariah Carey Songs you might remember: Loverboy Why you should vote for her: At least she looked…

Billie Frank

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Billy Hicks

In the mid 80’s Brat Pack mess of a film, St. Elmo’s Fire, Rob Lowe played Billy Hicks, a sax player who was reluctantly growing up after having a kid and getting married. We saw him “play” at the bar (named St. Elmo’s Fire), but we can’t say that we ever saw a more unconvincing air performance than this. Now why couldn’t they make him a guitar player instead? At least it would have matched his mullet that he grew for the film. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) Actor: Rob Lowe Songs you might remember: None…

Billy Hicks

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Billy Mack

From the excellent ensemble British Romantic Comedy, Love Actually, Bill Nighy played the only character with no obvious link to the others; the aging Rock Star, Billy Mack. For our money, Mack was by far the funniest character in the film, and we delighted watching him wave off political correctness with a charm that totally allows him to get away with it. He records a cover of the Troggs, “Love is All Around” (changing the word Love to Christmas) which his manager believes could be a hit, and pushes it to become the number one song in the U.K. for…

Billy Mack

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Billy Parker

Often we find ourselves amazed at how often musicians become great actors; and how often actors are awful at music. With that said, Madonna, Elvis and Bob Dylan proved that not all musicians could act, and in the case of Dylan, he thankfully only tried it once. In “Hearts of Fire”, he played Billy Parker, a reclusive mumbling singer that had to be a “stretch” for him as an actor. The film was actually so bad, Dylan himself wants nothing to do with it, but since this is the legendary Dylan, we had to put him on the ballot. The…

Billy Parker

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Billy Wayne

The final installment of the cute “Oh, God” movie trilogy where George Burns played God, also saw him play the Devil. Here, the Devil tricks Bobby Shelton (Ted Wass) who was a struggling songwriter to sell his soul in exchange for seven years of success. Now renamed, Billy Wayne, he does make it, though we know at what price! Now, what we can’t figure out is why he wanted it in the first place. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Oh God, You Devil! (1984) Actor: Ted Wass Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: Well, we…

Billy Wayne

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Black Plague

The opening scene of what cemented one of the biggest plummets in Hollywood (Andrew Dice Clay) saw the death of Vince Neil, the lead singer of Motley Crue who played the lead singer of the fictional group; Black Plague. Who is going to solve this murder? Why, Ford Fairlane, “The Rock and Roll Detective”. Music was actually a fair part of this film, so if you saw this movie and liked it, could Black Plague receive your vote? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) Actors: Vince Neil and a bunch of nobodies Songs you might…

Black Plague

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Blackie and the Riff Raff

From the daytime soap opera, General Hospital, we witness John Stamos’ first foray into acting/singing as the leader and drummer of Blackie and the Riff Raff. Stamos played Blackie Parrish, who forms a band (we don’t care why) that somehow employed Frisco Jones (Jack Wagner), which again we don’t care why. Either way, in the annals of daytime soap, this may the most memorable group. Whether that is enough for an induction here is up to you. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: General Hospital (1982-84) Actors: John Stamos (Blackie Parrish, Drums) Jack Wagner (Frisco Jones, Vocals) We are not…

Blackie and the Riff Raff

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Bleek Gilliam Quintet

The Jazz world can be a miserable business and in Spike Lee’s gem, Mo’ Better Blues, we see Blake Gilliam (Denzel Washington) constantly make the wrong decisions both in his music (he is trumpeter in his Jazz Quintet) and in his personal life. Music is used here as more than a plot device and though Jazz does not have much of a place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, we wonder if Jazz will have much of a place in the Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If any act could get in, this could be it.…

Bleek Gilliam Quintet

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Blind Mellow Jelly

We admit that this has no real business being on this ballot but as one of us are devotees of the 70’s Sitcom, Sanford and Son, we have to honor Fred Sanford’s favorite Blues musician, Blind Mellow Jelly, of whom he had an extensive record collection. Well, that is until they got broken. No what “Big Dummy” was responsible for that? The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Sanford and Son (1975) Actor: None Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: We begrudgingly admit you shouldn’t. Why you should not vote for him: Not only was he…

Blind Mellow Jelly

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Blood Pollution

There was something noble yet pathetic about how much Chris Cole (Mark Wahlberg) wanted his Steel Dragon tribute band to be perfect. In the end, that is what led to him to getting kicked out of the group, though that is not what we remember the most about “Blood Pollution”. We remember their brawl in a parking lot with another Steel Dragon tribute band far more. Watching Wahlberg defend his tribute band was honorable and pathetic at the same time. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Rock Star (2001) Actors: Mark Wahlberg (Chris Cole, Lead Singer) Timothy Olyphant (Rob Malcolm, Guitar)…

Blood Pollution

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Blues Hammer

From the cult film, Ghost World we saw a brief scene featuring Blues Hammer, a “Jock Rock” type of band that was despised….well at least it was by Steve Buscemi. Now if Nucky Thompson doesn’t like them, why should we? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Ghost World (2001) Actors: Steve Pierson Jake La Botz Johnny Irion Nate Wood Songs you might remember: Pickin’ Cotton Blues Why you should vote for them: We would imagine this would be a possibility if you liked this movie. Why you should not vote for them: We think even people who liked this film, may…

Blues Hammer

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Bob Roberts

Played by Tim Robbins, Bob Roberts was a great political satire where the title character was an ultra conservative Republic politician running for senate in Pennsylvania. In the mockumentary, Roberts got his message across through his folk singing, which in itself flies in the face with anything you would associate with the Republican Party. This was a highly respected film, and one whose political message is just as relevant today as it was when it was made. That fact, and the original music might make this a viable candidate; especially if Bob Roberts campaigns for it. The Bullet Points: TV…

Bob Roberts

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Bonita Friml

Bette Midler may have been a great singer, but her co-workers considered a great pain in the ass on the set of “Jinxed”. She played a lounge singer which did allow her to show her singing skills, though it was a film that was largely ignored; much like most lounge singers are.

Bonita Friml

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Boyz 12

When Steve Smith and his friends (Snot, Barry & Toshi) formed a Boy Band named Boy Jam they were signed and merged with Boy Bomb and Boyz with Mouthz to form Boyz 12. Their sexual entendre song, Girl, You Need a Shot of B12 did sound like something that would have been produced by a Boy Band producer in the real world. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: American Dad (2012) Actors: Scott Grimes (Steve Smith) Curtis Armstrong (Snot) The Fictitious Band: Steve Snot Barry Toshi Georgie T.J. Parker Victor Abraham Boris Abraham H. Constantine Songs you might remember: Girl,…

Boyz 12